![]() Following some kind of trail through the lonely woods, the girl comes across an old abandoned house. One false scare later, the girl emerges from the water. Anyway: a boy-raver and a girl-raver sneak off for some skinny-dipping, but the boy, fearing George Costanza Syndrome from the chilly water, lets the girl go in by herself. The actual glimpses we get of "the biggest rave of the year" show us that either it's still early January, or that the whole "rave" phenomenon has run its course: there are all of two dozen people twitching listlessly to the "music" (it might be argued that if something is popular with people as old as our heroes, it's certainly no longer cool. You'd figure that the rave crew, insurance agents, promoters and performers would have checked out the island pretty thoroughly, including the local rumors about the island's unsavory reputation - or, come to think of it, the tendency for everyone who goes there to be eaten by zombies. There's another curious development: unlike the people who planned and organized "the year's biggest rave", Captain Kirk and his crewman know there's something dangerous and unhealthy about the island. so he's anxious to outrun the world's least effective Coast Guard agent, a trigger-happy woman called Casper. I dunno, drug runners, or the Mafia, or Québecois separatists or something. The Captain turns out to be a smuggler, transporting arms to. ![]() Being older than your average movie teens-in-jeopardy but not wiser, our group misses the only boat to the island and is forced to charter a ride with the surly "Captain Kirk" and his charm-challenged first mate. No, no, of course that's not right: they're going to something described as "the year's biggest rave". As this wretched excuse for a movie begins, a party of elderly "teenagers" is making its way to an island off the coast of Washington State, to attend the "Isla de la Muerte Music Festival" performance of an opera by Janacek.
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